Back Pedaling

It is difficult to not get caught up in the life cycle of 1 step forward, 2 steps back. Often, just when I feel my best, or feel as if I am making enormous progress, old habits, or demons if you may, come back to remind me of exactly who I am trying to forget. Often this leads to my ego becoming judgmental, pointing it's perfect finger at my not so perfect human existence, telling me that I'm not worth it. After enough of this, you begin to wonder just what exactly it is you hope to be, or the person you hope to become. One of the hardest things to do is change, for obvious reasons such as fear and anxiety and being unassured, but also I think the underlying feeling of not wanting to take responsibility for the better person you might become for the fear of then having to live up to those expectations. It's hard to grow, it's scary to learn about who you REALLY are, and it's painful to deal with that often sinister thing called the mind. I think if we remind ourselves that for every step we take forward it's alright then to take a minute or a day or a year to enjoy where that step has taken us before moving on, then maybe all those feelings will slowly dissipate. Then when we are ready we can take another step forward instead of two steps back. L O V E.

Mission